Let me tell you my story. I am 43 years old, happily married with two young children (Courtney is 5 and Brian is 2-1/2). I've suffered for eleven years with what was diagnosed as panic disorder and have had chronic sinus problems (two surgeries in the last three years). These conditions are nothing compared with what started to happen to me in the summer of 1996. I call it "wooziness", because for me it's not a room-spinning sensation like some people describe. It's more a feeling of wooziness inside my head, so much so that I am unable to stand in one spot for more than a minute or two without having to at least lean against something -- or more preferably, sit down. This effects all aspects of daily living: taking a shower, standing at the sink, walking up and down stairs, standing in lines, driving, etc., etc.

In what should be the happiest time of my life, I find myself feeling miserable all the time and have to rely on other people for the simplest things in life. My husband has been wonderful and supportive. He runs all the errands -- he looks forward to grocery shopping with Courtney every Saturday morning (they've gotten very good at it!), and helps with most of the household chores. I can't do the laundry because I can't go down the basement stairs without holding on with both hands. Thank goodness for online shopping or Santa may not have made it to this house in '98 and '99.

I was employed as a Communications Specialist with 23 years of service. I haven't worked since January 12th of 1999, when the symptoms became so bad that my primary care doctor signed me out on a medical leave to have a full work-up done to identify the root of the problem. After numerous tests, I was diagnosed with permanent nerve-ending damage to the balance part of the inner ear. I underwent vestibular rehabilitation for 3 months, with little to no improvement. This is a specialized form of physical therapy that "trains the brain" to have your eyes and feet compensate for what your inner ear can no longer do.

Prior to my diagnosis, I'd had every test you can imagine over the last three years, some more than once. My ENT specialist had said it's not a simple case because there are other factors involved -- I have low blood pressure and an underactive thyroid as well (both diagnosed over the past six months). I also saw an Endocrinologist to see if there are any underlying causes for both of these problems.

Finally, in September of 1999, I was diagnosed with Chronic Lyme Disease, which seems to be the missing link to all of my ailments over the years. After a few months of oral antibiotic treatment, I started an IV treatment in March of 2000, but had an allergic reaction after 6 days and the line was removed. Then a week later, I had a terrible flare-up of the Lyme Disease (which the antibiotic had stirred up, but then was no longer there to fight it!). I ended up in the E/R -- I couldn't even stand at the sink to brush my teeth, much less take care of the kids. My parents came down with my older sister for a day, and my sister stayed for a week -- a lifesaver for me. And my husband's parents helped out, as they always do, since they are nearby.

I was referred to a Lyme Specialist out of Boston (he's a Professor at BU School of Medicine). Seeing him was like seeing a psychic or something. For the first time, I felt like someone REALLY understood everything I was telling him and he could pinpoint all of it to the Lyme Disease -- unreal. He thinks I was probably infected back in the early 80's when my allergies and asthma kicked in really bad, AND that it caused the onset of panic disorder in '89. He also thought that my symptoms came out in such full force in 1996 because of the trauma to my system when I fractured my leg and had surgery. Makes sense. Then it just kept getting worse, causing the permanent inner ear damage, etc.

The bottom line is he put me on a "cocktail" of meds for the summer (Biaxin and Plaquenil), and I'm keeping in contact with him via e-mail on my progress (pretty cool for a doctor!), and I see him again in September. He expects 18 months to 2 years of treatment. In the meantime, I seem to be back to what I call my "normal, abnormal self", but at least I can function -- I never want to go through a flare-up again like I had in April. And of course, the inner ear damage and other chronic problems I've acquired over the years are permanent.

Although it's wonderful to be home with my children, it can be very depressing because I am unable to do anything with them. Although some days are better than others, I am uncomfortable driving, especially with the children in the car. I even have trouble taking them for a walk -- I need to stay within sight of our house to know that I can get back quickly. I try to get out in the backyard with them at least once a day just to get them (and me!) some fresh air and a change of scenery. I've been given final determination by my company and its insurer that I will not be receiving Long Term Disability -- on the basis of "subjective versus objective" data. I am awaiting a hearing date for Social Security Disability. In the meantime, we roll coins and sell belongings to help pay bills. The credit card debt we've had to incur over the past year and a half is astonishing.

But throughout all this, I feel very fortunate to have my wonderful, supportive husband and my great kids; and the support of my dizzy friends has proven immeasurable. I love you guys!

Patricia mom to Courtney 5/20/95 and Brian 1/18/98