My experience with dizziness began on the night of July 29, 1999. I became violently dizzy at work and was sent home. My doctor ruled out a recurrent heart problem. She was able to recreate the dizziness by having me watch her move her finger. I was told I had vertigo, and I was instructed to rest and take meclizine. I felt relieved because I thought there was nothing seriously wrong with me.

A couple of weeks later I returned to work. The violent spinning had stopped, but I still felt lightheaded and had recurring attacks of dizziness. I thought that the residual dizziness would disappear shortly, but it did not clear up. It began to gradually worsen. My main symptom at that time was the inability to visually track moving objects. Horizontal movement brought on dizziness. Convergence tracking was impossible, as my eyes would involuntarily close to block the visual onslaught. My job required tracking of objects on fast moving assembly lines and operating machinery with rotating parts. The constant stimulation on my visual senses gradually worsened my condition. Driving became difficult. People who talk with their hands threw me into a spin. I would feel very disorientated in the grocery store, to the point where I would have to just leave. I almost always felt lightheaded and out of focus.

So that Dec. my doctor sent me to an ENT. He sent me to physical therapy and for an ENG test. My ENG results were shown as abnormal and of a "central pathology". My ENT sent me for an MRI, but the lab refused to image me because of a stent implant in my heart. (I have since found out that it is fine to have MRI's with a stent that has been in place over a year.)

I started physical therapy in January 2000. At first the physical therapy made me much worse. I was put on a short-term medical leave, and started going to rehab 3 times a week. After a month or so, I started noticing some improvements, but then I would get dizzy and be back to where I started. My insurance ended the physical therapy in early March.

One night in mid March, I was in bed. I was fine one minute. Then the next my head and neck started to feel heavy. My head felt like there was this pressure, this electrical current, all over the left side from my head to my shoulder. Then this pressure spread all down the left side of my body. I told myself to relax and took deep slow breaths. I woke my husband up but I couldn't find any words to speak. The intensity of the feeling passed after a while. The next day I still had the electrical field type of feeling, again only on my left side. I felt very out of focus and out of balance. I felt like my left leg was longer than my right leg. I felt like I was walking on sand. I had had some balance problems prior to that night, but I had assumed they were as a result of the dizziness. After that night, I started having lots of balance problems.

Alarmed at these new symptoms I returned to my primary care doctor. She ordered an immediate Doppler CT scan (which came out negative) and she referred me to a neurologist. After verifying that I could have a MRI with a stent in my heart, she also ordered another MRI.

The MRI was abnormal and showed two lesions. The neurologist determined that I had had a couple of small strokes. He also found some aggravating factors in addition to stroke that have impacted on my imbalance and dizziness. I still have an appointment with a neuro-opthamologist for further evaluation. So, how has my life changed since I became dizzy last summer? I can not follow things with my eyes. If I try to, I get dizzy and disoriented. My eyes will shut on their own to avoid the impact of the visual stimulation. This means that I can not go into large stores or places where there is a lot of activity, light or motion. I can not drive on the highway, at night or when it is raining. I can not tolerate long car rides, even as a passenger. I can only read for short periods of time. I have had to stop working. I have trouble speaking with people who use their hands a lot. TV is often troublesome. Playing the piano is often difficult and I can do it only for occasional short periods. I tire easily and I sometimes have trouble remembering things like common words.

My balance has deteriorated significantly. I have trouble walking and keeping my balance. I can not walk beyond short distances. I can not walk on unfamiliar uneven ground surfaces without assistance. I can not stand on a step stool reliably and safely (and being somewhat vertically challenged, this is a big problem for me). Most housecleaning chores are too much for me. All my life I have been fanatical about working-out and exercising. I can no longer do either.

My neurologist started me on klonopin. To me that has been a miracle drug. Although I still get dizzy from tracking things with my eyes and from poor spatial perception, I no longer have the constant "dizzies". If I avoid the triggers and remember to rest my eyes periodically, I am not dizzy all the time. In the fall of 2000, my legs began hurting more and more. My neurologist was concerned about the pulse in my legs. I was referred to my primary care doctor who set me up for an MRA of my legs. The MRA showed severe and diffused hardening of the arteries in both my legs. A vascular surgeon said that he could not operate as the damage was too diffuse and there was no good area to bypass to. My primary care doctor told me there is a lot of research going on in this area now. She is right. She put me on a drug named pletal. It was too hard for me to take, so I had to cut my dose in half. The medication pamphlet said it can take up to 12 weeks for relief from pain, so we will see. Meanwhile, my neurologist is looking into the research about high homocysteine levels causing premature hardening of the arteries. Although my folic acid and B12 levels are normal, a blood test showed that my homocysteine level is quite high, so I am now also taking perscription strenght doses of folic acid. With the coming of winter and snow, I found I could not drive safely anymore, not even locally. At this point I can't even make it down my porch steps without help. It is discouraging, but I still keep holding on to the hope that new research will find a way to help me.

So many day to day things that I used to do without thinking, I now can not do at all or I can only do it with lots of planning and preparation.I try to keep my spirits up, but sometimes I get depressed or resentful. That is why I picked the signon name of aiwimw@aol.com. It stands for All Is Well In My World, an affirmation by Louise Hay. Every time I sign onto AOL I am reminded that I still have many wonderful things in my life. I have a wonderful husband, Gene, who is my strength and comfort. I have two grown children, Shane and Jennifer, whom I am very proud of. I have great parents, a nice brother and special friends. I have awesome cats. I have the support of many wonderful people on the Dizziness and Vertigo Board. Right now, my condition is stabilized. All is well in my world.

UPDATE: 01/2003

It seems that my problem isn't just from cardiovascular but from degenerative disc disease. In Jan. of 2002 I had 4 of my cervical discs fused. This did help a little with dizziness but left behind constant pain from surgical damage to my tendons. It took 10 months to recover from this operation, but my neurologist and 2 other doctors said I would have been paralyzed from the waist down by now if I had not had it.

Now my problem is mostly pain in mid and lower back. I have had new mris and I have 5 out of 5 lumbar discs that have degenerated. I also have a stenosis that is about 60% and growing (or shrinking to be more exact {g}) that is around a big clump of nerves. I am now looking at surgery to fuse all my lumbar discs and one sacrial disc. I have been told that no surgeon would operate on the stenosis unless under extreme conditions because of the risks involved. The pain is constant and there is no relief besides narcotics. The narcotics make my dizziness worse. Full circle.

The surgeon is trying to wait for the upper lumbar discs to stabilize before disc surgery so I will only need one. One is one more than I want. It has if pain and loss of visual perception is now a part of me and claimed me. I try to keep as active as possible, even if it is walking my feet as I sit on my chair, but it can get discouraging.

I am scheduled to go to a pain treatment center for pain-management therapy. Hopefully I can get an epidermal shot, and a better combination of pills ~ ones that don't make me dizzier but dull the pain more. A miracle pill, I guess. LOL. I also really want to get into physical therapy.

I find a purpose by continueing to host aol and ivillage boards where I meet daily with people who have it far worse than I do. I am especially fond of a board I initiated called "Bad Things Happen to Good People" ~ because they sure do. I feel like I still can make a difference in this world by my hosting these boards, but as is often the case, I get much more than I give. I keep reminding myself that really, All Is Well In My World. That way, even if it isn't at the moment I have planted the seed. It WILL blossom.

This picture was taken way back in 1997 on my parents' 50th anniversary. It is the only picture I have of my whole family together. Seated from left to right: my husband, me, my son, my mom and my dad. Standing from left to right is my daugher and my brother.